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that you are the most important person in your childs life..... yes, I absolutely get it, like a hammer smacked me on the head and said "you're it"

Today I had my first real traumatic experience (and really not life or death or anything) with Quentin, one that made me realise how much I mean to him. What was to be an innocent little 2 hour break max for me turned into roughly 20 mins if that.

My sweet sister-in-law asked if she could take Q over to her place (she lives about a 5 min walk away...) for a couple of hours to work on a xmas "surprise". I was of course fine with it, albeit it was my first time letting him go to another house without me. I have been away from him before, but he has always stayed here and been looked after. Also, up until the last couple of weeks he has really been ok with other family even if he does not really know them all that well yet. During the last couple of weeks though Q has really started to recognise Adam and I, especially from distance, and looks for us when he wakes up, or just in general if he is lying on the sofa or wherever, so I did warn Jordan he might look a little startled if he cannot find either of us when he wakes up at her place.... startled? more like terrified.

He woke up just as they were getting to her door, and no amount of puppy waving or ducky quacking was about to passify him. Needless to say whilst elbow deep in cleaning my bathroom I received a somewhat frantic call for help. What I found rather funny later was that Gavin (J's boyfriend) was rather calm in his wonderfully hilarious british way.... it went something like this "Hello", "Hi Donna, it's Gavin here.... we are having a wee bit of a problem (insert continuous screaming baby in the background, and sounds of a distraught sister-in-law)... uhm, any chance you could come over" (insert sister-in-law's panicked voice in the background... "tell her to get here RIGHT NOW".

Needless to say I dropped cleaning products and gloves and took off at a fairly fast jog and arrived to my son just beside himself. Guilt was written all over Jordans face and no amount of telling her it was not her fault could console her for awhile. Meanwhile after 10-15 mins of some serious consoling my little man realised I was there and his world was once again restored to peace and harmony, not to mention some warm milk and a nappy change along the way helping restore his level of calmness.

It didn't really hit me until I got home.... after some soothing words and cuddles and rocking him to sleep in his stroller did I finally break down and have a good cry myself......

welcome to motherhood Donna.....